Hi, I’m skimaskdreamz, and this is my story. I’m 23 years old, and two years ago, my life changed in a way I never expected. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in one of the most complicated and terrifying ways possible—affecting both my genital area and my tonsils. Since then, I’ve experienced everything from debilitating tonsillitis to an eye outbreak under my left eye. But through it all, I’ve learned that herpes didn’t end my life; it reshaped it. It taught me resilience, self-awareness, and how to live fully despite the challenges.

Here’s how it all began and what I’ve learned since.

Could you share a bit more about your journey from your initial diagnosis to where you are now, especially how you managed both oral and genital HSV infections?

My HSV story began during a low point in my life. I was 21, in college, and admittedly, not as cautious as I should have been. I was having unprotected sex without much thought about the risks. Then one day, everything changed. I woke up feeling like I’d swallowed shards of glass. My entire body ached, and I was overwhelmed by flu-like symptoms.

My whole body felt like it had the worst flu ever so I went to the doctor and got antibiotics which didn’t help and steroids that helped with the swelling in my throat. Maybe a couple of days after that I noticed a sensitivity when I was wiping myself after using the bathroom. I googled symptoms and felt a huge sense of dread that it seemed to match herpes symptoms. Got swabbed vaginally. 

A few weeks later, I had a recurrence of tonsillitis and white lesions in my throat that doctors had thought was bacterial tonsillitis, but I insisted that my gyno swab it at my follow up appointment because I had a sinking feeling about it. My blood test came back negative because I didn’t have antibodies yet, but both the vaginal and throat swabs both came back positive for HSV-2. At the time, I didn’t shower for like 2 weeks. I avoided using the bathroom and basically laid in bed depressed while I got better.

Once that initial outbreak went away, I honestly took kind of a “glass of spilled milk” approach. I didn’t beat myself up over it, it’s just a virus, and if anything, that just makes me unlucky but not gross or dirty like I felt at first. The milk already spilled, I had herpes, so I just continued my life as usual. It actually kind of helped me put stuff in my life into perspective and I think had a net positive effect on my outlook. Something that pre-herpes I may have thought of as the end of the world really wasn’t. My world kept spinning anyways.

I started on 2000mg of Valtrex per day for my initial outbreak and it had some bad side effects at first. I threw up a couple of times but when I took it with dairy in the morning it helped. And headaches, but I also think that’s from the cocktail of meds they had me on (antibiotics, valtrex, steroids, antihistamines, etc.) After that I started taking 500mg as a form of suppressive therapy.

In my first year I had a ton of recurrent GHSV outbreaks, but they got smaller and less painful each time. They really feel more like I wore underwear that were too tight and mildly chafed or something, sometimes it was hard to tell I even had one. So I always err on the side of caution if I feel even mildly tingly or chafed when it comes to intimacy.

I also had several bouts of tonsillitis that year and became significantly immune compromised in my throat. As in, any mild cold from anyone around me would cause debilitating tonsillitis symptoms. I got my tonsils removed towards the end of the first year and it was the best decision ever, I would highly recommend for anyone with herpes in the tonsils. My theory is that my tonsils were anatomically weak and the herpes took hold as a result – I always got strep throat as a kid too. After getting them removed, I went from like 8 bouts of tonsillitis per year to never having a sore throat again.

2 years later, I suddenly have an outbreak under my left eye. Not sure if it’s HSV-1 or 2 because it seems unlikely that 2 would spread up there this late in the game. My genital outbreaks have gone away for the last 3-4 months which is huge for me. I take 1000mg of lysine with water every morning and 500mg of Valtrex with breakfast. I got the eye outbreak after a couple of weeks of partying hard with my boyfriend and forgetting the lysine. I think the less regular medication schedule and drinking/late nights weakened my immune system to let this happen.

The eye part sucks – not from pain so much but just because I feel like I can’t scratch my eyes if they are irritated. It’s not keratitis and I hope it stays that way. I’m currently taking 3000mg of Valtrex per day and I’m looking into some antiviral ointments, but I think this OB is almost gone. Hoping it never comes back!

Many people worry about the impact of HSV on relationships. How did you approach disclosure and communication with your partner about it, and what’s been helpful in maintaining a healthy relationship?

I am in a serious relationship with my boyfriend of over a year. I had a lot of outbreaks early on and honestly he’s worried about getting GHSV. He gets cold sores but doesn’t want it down there which is understandable. For us, I would say we have less sex than I have in the past but make up for it in favor of other forms of intimacy. Especially while going through phases of lots of OBs, I got into the habit of giving more handjobs and oral which he is obsessed with, so he definitely doesn’t feel a lack of physical intimacy. As I’ve had no outbreaks the last few months we also have been having more sex. We don’t typically use a condom – I’m allergic to latex and he’s… well endowed, so the Skyn and other latex-free ones are too tight. 

And based on the placement of my OBs a condom wouldn’t really stop the base of his penis from touching the area anyways. So we are really careful about not having a lot of PIV sex and if I have even an idea that I may have an OB or a slight tingle we have other kinds of physical intimacy instead.

Regarding disclosure, I was in a major hoe phase when I first got diagnosed and would either disclose on the dating apps or in person. I had a couple of people on the apps say it wasn’t worth the risk but no one was disrespectful ever and all appreciated my honesty. When I met people in person, no one ever said they didn’t want to have sex. 

Not to sound too cocky, but I’m a pretty 23 year old woman with a great personality. When I think about it, most of the guys I had sex with asked to not use a condom anyways, which I really didn’t GAF about at the time. I was on Valtrex, not shedding, and wanted to get my shit tore up. Nobody ever contracted from me that I know of, and most still begged to see me after but I was in kind of a “hit and run” phase and not looking for anything at the time.

I kind of cringe now over all the sex I had at the time, but luckily my boyfriend doesn’t really GAF. He has the highest body count of anyone I know (somewhere above 350), so he can’t really talk shit LMAO. He literally lived his late teens and 20s like Mick Jagger, it is completely absurd. It baffles me how he managed to avoid herpes for so long – he’s been tested for literally everything under the sun, given his risk profile.

You mentioned a recent eye infection related to HSV—have you learned any effective ways of managing or preventing similar complications?

That I am still figuring out. For now if I have an itch around my eye area I am using a q tip and making sure it doesn’t actually go in my eye or touch the OB itself, and that has helped with irritation around the area. It’s annoying to not be able to touch a large part of my face and I think mentally that has been making it more itchy.

I heard about antiviral gels that people use around the eyes, so I am going to look into that if this comes back, which it hopefully doesn’t.

My plan to prevent this in the future is to get back on my shit and start working out and eating right again, because being a party-hard bum kind of got me into this mess lol. I also learned the importance of taking my lysine every morning, so I will be more on top of that. I didn’t realize what a difference it makes until now.

In your experience, has there been a difference in how others respond to hearing about oral vs. genital HSV? How do you handle those reactions?

I manage who I tell. No one is owed that kind of medical information about you except someone who is about to put themselves into your genitals. I am not super ashamed about it either, I just think it’s an awkward topic. And people are so uneducated about it that there’s definitely a stigma. When it comes to friends or loved ones and the genuinely curious, I am happy to educate and be a resource. But I’ve seen so many ignorant comments from people regarding herpes in general that it’s not my mental load or responsibility to face their judgment while I educate them.

Has your experience with HSV influenced your approach to mental health or self-care? If so, in what ways?

I would say it made me more resilient. You really can’t cry over spilled milk. I could still be curled up in bed about it, but I wouldn’t have had so many amazing experiences in the last couple of years or the awesome relationship I have now if I let it hold me back and hide away from the world.

One annoying aspect was that for the first year and a half or so, it made my genital skin more sensitive (more prone to tears, it seemed), so masturbating or having sex would sometimes trigger an OB to come later. I used to masturbate like 3 times a day so that was an adjustment, but I actually think it was good for me to take a less hypersexual approach to my body and my life. It definitely helped me heal some of that. 

And recently sex/masturbation hasn’t been an issue, so it’s been nice to get reacquainted with myself. Also, probably an unpopular opinion, but every time I masturbate I use isopropyl alcohol on my hands after. And after PIV sex with my boyfriend I often do the same with a gentle washcloth. It doesn’t hurt anything and gives a sense of safety to the whole thing.

Since your story involves both uncommon and more common aspects of HSV, what’s one thing you wish people understood better about living with this condition?

I wish people understood that HSV is just a virus—it doesn’t define someone’s worth. It’s not “dirty” or a moral failing.

Also, I wish that people understood when and how it can be spread. I was asked by my mom to bleach toilet seats after I use them when I first got diagnosed, and honestly that was really hurtful when I already kind of felt like a leper.

I also haven’t really heard people talk about how it can be scary to touch yourself afterwards. This is more of a tip for women in the community, but I found that using isopropyl on my hands after and also if I was prodrome (and sometimes in an active OB) but wanted to masturbate, I could put on a pair of men’s boxers and touch myself through them and avoid the OB area. It just felt less stressful at the time.

You’re balancing HSV with a fulfilling relationship and day-to-day life. What tips would you give to someone newly diagnosed who might feel overwhelmed?

I would recommend that you just get back into your regular activities. Don’t spend all your time dwelling on it, it changes nothing and the only way to move is forward. Plenty of older, married people have it and just don’t announce it to the whole world. If you find the right person they will make the time for you. It can also be a good filter if someone treats you like a dick over it they probably don’t have a good character anyways.

I would recommend exploring daily Valtrex if you have recurrent OBs and definitely use Valtrex while having an OB as it makes them shorter.

Have you noticed any patterns or triggers that lead to outbreaks, or anything particularly effective in minimizing the impact on your daily life?

I have also heard that starting the day with raspberries and lemon water can help prevent them. I found it helpful personally along with lysine and Valtrex. Having a healthy diet overall with fruits & veg and learning trigger foods is useful too. Dairy is good because it has a high lysine ratio.

Usually the trigger foods weaken your immune system like alcohol or contain a higher arginine ratio. My biggest triggers are fried chicken and alcohol. It’s fine these days but when I was first diagnosed it would often cause an OB. If you want to eat a food you know has a ton of arginine, you can also try taking a lysine pill first to reduce the effects.

What has been the most challenging part of living with HSV, and how have you found ways to cope or overcome these challenges?

The most challenging is probably the eye stuff right now. The inability to have sex every now and then and the need to wash my hands more really became much less mentally draining over time. I would say managing stress is VERY important because it’s a huge trigger in addition to the food/drink triggers I mentioned.

Practicing acceptance and just focusing on gratitude really helped me through all of this. People have it so much worse than me in the world and I do my best to make the most of every day, cheesy as it sounds. Herpes doesn’t really ruin days for me anymore.

What are some common misconceptions about HSV-2 that you wish more people understood?

You can get HSV-2 on your face and HSV-1 on your genitals. Being more common in one area doesn’t mean it can ONLY affect that area.

Finally, if you could share one piece of advice for someone newly diagnosed with HSV-2, what would it be?

Curl up on the couch, watch some movies and eat some junk food. When you feel better, brush yourself off, go to the gym and put yourself back out there with work, friends, dating, etc.

Live your life the fullest you can! You only have one, with or without herpes.

Sorry I rambled a bit!

And all the sex talk, it’s just a part of life and I think it’s pertinent when it comes to GHSV.

But also, one last thing I think about all of it is that people get caught up worrying they have herpes and how unfair it is and how much they wish they didn’t have it, etc., but the truth is you do have it. You are holding on to a parallel version of yourself that does not exist. 

Pining after something that isn’t real. Sure, a cure would be nice, but don’t put your life on hold wishing you had one now. Do the best you can every day, and live your life to your fullest satisfaction. Even now. Even when you have an outbreak. If I was sad and wished I had a different life every time I had an OB, I wouldn’t have mentally been present in the moment and experiencing a million positive experiences these last two years. Sounds corny but it’s true.

If you’re reading this and you’ve just been diagnosed, know that you’re not alone. Take it one day at a time. Find your support system. And above all, remember this: You are so much more than your diagnosis. Two years ago, I thought herpes would ruin my life. Today, I’m thriving. Yes, it’s a part of my story, but it’s not the whole story. I’ve had amazing experiences, built a loving relationship, and learned to live without letting the virus control me.

Herpes is not the end. It’s a challenge, but it’s one you can overcome. And if you ever need a reminder, just know: You’ve got this!